as you know, I'm not the kind of 'straight minded' people.
I prefer throw some words that means some clue. people nowadays said its a code. that's the reason why I'll always giving you some words that lead you to the things I want to say, but I didn't do it directly and crystal clear. I want you to know it.
due to the day that you said "Enggak berat fiy. udara dingin berembun dengan jarak waktu 20 menit di malam hari yang sedikit menusuk aja fiy. ditambah dengan jalanan licin menambah waktu tempuh yang lama". it hurt much. didn't you notice that after that day, I never ask you to do something with me again? I mean I never ask you as much as before, as often as before. have you ever ask me why? of course not, bcs you don't even realize it baby :)
and here, there's something that bothering me, hell, much. now I realize that you love to 'run'. I have no strength to ask you why, but honestly I hate you most when you try to run before facing it. please just get it, I love you and I'd love to learn loving you in my way. so when I said 'I hate you', that means you did something oh not-well, then I want you to fix it, not run even hide from it.
I know I've been selfish, childish, much-annoying. but am I going to be jealous if you don't do something that blow my suspicion? am I going to be annoying if you don't act like there's nothing happen? I do care of you, don't ask it. that's my way to love you. and I really want to keep you, make the 'I and you' things become 'us', as long as I can.
and you know what? if He gives me a chance to grow old with, I'd love to choose you. I'd love to grow old with you.
